


He doesn't care anymore

by Brokenanathema



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Blood, Cutting, I'm Sorry, I'm a awful human, Risky Behaviour, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Suicide, really sad, suicidal thought, trigger warning, will he be saved from himself, wreckless behaviour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 16:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brokenanathema/pseuds/Brokenanathema
Summary: Tyler was on a path of self -destruction.He wanted to destroy any chance he had of a future.He wanted reasons to justify why he was killing himself.He was determined to die.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fucking huge trigger warning for this, ily all <3

"Tyler, this is your 2nd week not turning in your homework, I'm giving you a lunchtime detention, if you still don't bother next week you'll have a after school detention" the teacher sighed "Tyler are you listening to me"

Tyler stared of into space. 

"TYLER"

He snapped back into reality,

"DENTENTION TOMORROW LUNCH AND DONT YOU DARE IGNORE ME AGAIN, OKAY?"

Tyler nodded, he felt his classmates eyes burning through his week soul, it wasn't his fault he zoned out, it was just another one of his unhealthy ways of coping. The whole detention thing didn't bother him, he wouldn't be alive to see it 

As the bell buzzed Tyler slid his stuff into his bag and walked out the room avoiding all eye contact with anyone.

"Why didn't you do the homework?" A kid who Tyler recongnised from both his homeroom and previous class asked

Tyler paused for a second, he didn't do the shitty homework because he was two busy watching the ceiling fan go around, to heavy to move. 

Buttttttt he definitely wasn't going to tell this kid that so he shrugged and paced on.

Head down, avoid people.

Head down, avoid people.

Head down, avoid people. 

Tyler locked himself in the toilets to avoid all of his friends, his friends were truly amazing people who he loved dearly but whenever they all spoke Tyler's voice faded into the background, completely unnoticed.

It hurt far more than he'd like to admit.

Sometime he thought they only hung out with out of sympathy, Tyler was the shy anxious kid with a low-key badass reputation who didn't have any friends. Tyler looked at the way members of his group interacted with each other and then the way they interacted with him and there was a fucking huge difference.

He laid out his coat on the floor and sat on it, he pulled his schedule out of his bag, he had computing science next and wasn't going to turn up, he was already failing miserably at it anyway.

In fact he was failing every single subject, he had detentions and "consequences" in every subject, nearly every teacher hated him because the only time he opened his mouth was to shoot them with sarcasm. 

He didn't care that they hated him, he didn't care that he was failing and he wasn't going to the detentions. The fact that he was probably going to leave without qualifications was another thing to add to the list of reasons he was going to kill himself. 

He didn't really know why he was collecting all of these things, every single time he found a reason he would add it to his notes on his phone, maybe it was to make his Mom feel a bit better when he went, maybe it was to make him feel a little less guilty about leaving his siblings, maybe he just really didn't know. 

He pulled out a small tin from his bag, in it was a sharp bit of a broken coke can, blades, 3 cigarettes, a packet of pills and a lighter.

He pulled down his trousers, he learnt the hard way that everyone checks your wrists but not your thighs. 

His legs where covered in scars from hips to knees, alongside new cuts, nearly-healed cuts and everything in between. 

Tyler hated how fucking good it felt. 

He hates himself for loving it but holy shit was he addicted. 

He remembers when he was younger, when he wrote mini-story books out of flimsy paper, not suicide notes, when his grades where just over average and when he regularly got certificates for excellent behaviour. From a young age he told people he wanted to be a doctor, he would fob them off with some story on how he wanted to "save many lives" ect. But he never wanted to be a doctor in the slightest, he just knew that if he said that people like him.  
They'd look a him with bright eyes.

But how times have changed. 

When the teachers looked at him they saw a lost, hopeless cause. 

There eyes where dull. 

It wasn't just his school either. 

It was his parents, his siblings, his parents friends.

"Round up everyone meet my son Tyler the neighbourhood freak"

Everyone has given up on him and he had given up on himself.

He lit himself cigarette and sat with his legs crossed on the floor. 

He would be here for 3 hours now, with nothing more than a phone, packet of chips and the weight of his parents disappointment on his shoulders. 

 

After the bell signalling the end of the day buzzed through, Tyler cleared up his mess and was incredibly careful to avoid teachers on the way to the exit.

He couldn't be arsed to deal with their shit. 

Not today anyway. 

"Hey Ty, where the heck where you?" Asks one of the people in his friendship group as he walks by.

Tyler shrugged

"Come here a sec dude"

Tyler internally sighed, but he made sure to keep it internal, he maybe a asshole but he wasn't a bully. 

He stood awkwardly as the group carried on their conversation,

"I'm going to err" he mumbled, making his way to the door

"We love you" someone yelled

He turned around and fake smiled

"Yeah right" he whispered inaudibley and exited the concrete building.

Once he was a small bit away from his school he let his legs pick up pace and ran, he sprinted through streets as if a huge monster was behind him, his lungs burned as his feet ached but he didn't care, his lungs could of collapsed right there and then but he wouldn't of given a shit. 

He ran into a old, abandoned building that was 6 stories highly.

He climbed to the roof and ran from one side to another on the ledge, only just balancing. 

Tyler didn't care anymore. 

He was laughing like a maniac, cheating death at every slip and wobble.

He climbed back to the safe side again and took off his jumper, he reached for his bag, grabbed a blade and ripped it across his skin, hitting layers of fat, desperate to feel something.

Tyler didn't care anymore. 

"Holy fucking cow, are you okay?" 

"Take a guess" said Tyler bitterly, tilting his head slightly 

"You're Tyler right?"

Tyler nodded 

"We go to the same school Tyler"

"I know Joshua"

Josh shuddered 

"Please just call me Josh"

"Okay"

"You're that really fucked up kid amirite?"

"Bit rude"

"Sorry"

The pair sat in silence for a minute, Tyler's arms gushing blood

"Where you trying to kill yourself?"

"No"

More silence, but not an uncomfortable one.

"You know Tyler, everyone has you down as a bad-ass, but your not exactly the most popular person so it's pretty darn obvious that it's not for attention. But it seems to me like everyone looks at you for what you do instead of why you do it"

Tyler was stunned. 

Somebody gets it. 

Somebody actually understands. 

He could put that as a reason to stay alive, but he already has 30 reasons to kill himself.

"Why are you here?" Asked Tyler softly

"This place is my escape"

The two chattered for hours until the sunset began to decorate the sky.

"You need stitches"

 

"Nah I'll be okay" said Tyler pulling his black hoodie back on 

Josh sighed

"You know Josh, I have only known you for a few hours but you're the hardest person to say bye to" Tyler kissed him on the forehead and legged it into the dark. 

As soon as he got home he ran to his room, ignoring his mothers screams.

He grabbed all of the pills he'd been saving up for the past few weeks and emptied them onto his bed. 

He barricaded the door with every item of furniture in his room other than his bed. 

This was it. 

He downed around 50 pills in 4 goes, he didn't notice the tears dripping down his face as he layed on the bed.

Tyler didn't care anymore.


End file.
